Wieners, wieners everywhere...

This is Anthony Wiener in high school. According to (what I consider to be the very factual wiener page on) Wikipedia, he took the standardized high school admissions test and was relegated to a technical high school because of his low score. Of course, he was quick to add that he missed attending regular academic high school by one point. I'm sure it was someone else's fault.

Did I mention that his mother was a school teacher?

Now, you can tell from the photo that this young man is of Jewish lineage. Don't call me racist, you know you can tell, just like you can tell if a black person has lineage in the African nations and a white person has lineage to Europe. So, shut up. He states that his family was not very religious growing up, but had a "strong sense of their Judaism". What the hell does that mean? That they benefited from it when they could, but didn't put anything into it otherwise. That's what I read.

Here is the wiener trying to be an "everyman" with his cap on backward, looking like he just worked out. He probably stood in front of the mirror, wetting himself with a spray bottle until he got the look he wanted, did a few jumping jacks to get his heart rate up, and walked outside to face the media and, Gosh! Are those photographers?! What a surprise. I'll be he was upset that they published this one of him in mid-sentence. Except, of course, if he thinks that it looks like they caught him doing what he does: pontificating serious save-the-world kind of comments.

Here is the wiener being overly smug and proud that he has just won the election by ... what is that ... NINE votes? What a landslide. Why on earth does he look so pleased with himself? Perhaps there is a "1" in front of the "220" that I just missed. What an incredible pompous ass of a moron. This is nothing to advertise! Why not just say, "if only a few more wiener-haters had voted, I would not be Representative Wiener today." That is pathetic. Just thank God that you won and forget the closeness of the vote. Don't flaunt it. Idiot wiener.

So, now that we know that he twitted photos of his bulging manliness (I guess the phone has a zoom on the camera because nothing about this man says "well-endowed"), lied about it, cried, refused to resign, and take a leave of absence to "get help", what are we to do with this info?

Blog about it, of course!

He is talking a leave from Congress to "see help". Where is an overpriced, extremely private and oh-so discrete  SPA for those with overgrown Narcissism? Where does one go who is in the spotlight, a position of power, and has no self-control at all? I'll bet it's pretty durned pricey, to boot!

Remember when David Duchovny (aka Fox Mulder of The X Files show) said he had a sexual addiction? Eric Benet, whose name meant nothing until he married the stunning Halle Berry, was found cheating on his lovely wife and claimed that he "needed treatment". Tiger Woods, bless his heart, was found to be straying from his wife and entered rehab immediately after. Jesse James fooled around on Sandra Bullock during their short marriage, and blamed sexual addiction.

Where are the women with sexual addiction? Interestingly enough, the few articles that I reviewed mentioned men only. I'm sure there are women out there with healthy libidos, who men would label as addicts just because they like sex, only because that's not really the norm. Most of us just like to be by ourselves with a good book and strong martini. Plus, the vast majority of women are able to THINK, "He is really hot and I would love to see him naked, but I am married, so I won't. I wonder if there is a long line at Starbucks..."

Men, on the other hand, must be thinking through a process something like this, "Hot ... Want ... Naked ... Want ... Sex ... Want..." I think these men suffer from a lack of self-control and total disregard for any other human being but themselves in that moment. All they can think of is that they see it, like it, want it, must have it.

And have it, they do. There are some who believe in sexual addiction, but I think it's more like a Narcissus addiction: me, me, me. All the time, me.

And here is what Weiner really is. A dog.