Crying as a cleansing emotion

Yesterday I became so frustrated that I cried. It was not a "cryable" reason, either. I simply could not access the reporting system at work, and I knew my boss needed reports. I was hopeless and helpless to provide them. So, I cried. When Jim came home from work, I was telling him about my day, and I started to cry again, hours after the emotion first hit me.


I starting thinking. My sons use to cry when they became full of emotion, regardless of whether it was anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, etc. Crying seems to be a natural and normal response to overwhelming feelings. A natural outpouring from a full heart. They very rarely do this any longer, and that made me sad to realize.


Until I thought of what I would do if I walked in on a male coworker who was crying because he had become overly frustrated with the lack of response from the computer system. Or if the IT guy at work couldn't figure out what was causing an error message, so he started crying. I would think they were big 'ole mama's boys and a group of pantywaists. I would not be compassionate in the least because they are supposed to handle it without crying. They are supposed to press that emotion deep down, in favor for another, more acceptable emotion. Like anger. That one we could deal with.


On the other hand, if I walked into the office of a female coworker who was crying because she had become frustrated, I would immediately offer assistance, try to calm and soothe her, and feel compassion toward her. She is not weak because she cries. It is almost expected. She would be unapologetic, for the most part. The man, I can only imagine, would be ready to commit hara-kiri.


At what point does this change between the sexes? And is it prevalent only in Western culture? Interestingly, those in a more 'individualized' culture were more apt to cry than those in a 'collective' culture. Predictably, both men and women are more likely to cry when they are alone than with others. According to studies, women find it necessary for their survival to cry. It elicits a response of assistance, attentiveness, and almost always causes a cessation in conflict escalation. Men, on the other hand, become targets by other men if they are seen as weak or vulnerable, which crying is a sure sign of in today's culture.


All very interesting. The issue or problem probably does not change once a person cries, but for some reason, it makes the person feel better. Or, at least it does for me. Like exercise is a stress reliever, crying is an emotion reliever.


Go on! Have a good cry. Just do it alone.