NOT in Carmenland!!

I have taken the liberty to color, bold, and italicize the key words in the below article:


(04-28) 04:37 PDT Bentonville, Ark. (AP) --

An inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu.

Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 308 pounds after eight months in the Benton County jail. He has filed a federal lawsuit complaining the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food.

According to the suit, Laswell weighed 413 pounds when he was jailed in September. Police say he and a co-defendant fatally beat and stabbed a man, then set his home on fire.

"On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out," Laswell wrote in his complaint. "About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again."

But Laswell then goes on to complain that he undertakes little vigorous activity.

"If we are in a small pod all day (and) do next to nothing for physical exercise, we should not lose weight," the suit says. "The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally being starved to death."

The suit also asks that the county be ordered to serve hot meals. The jail has served only cold food for years.

The meals, provided through Aramark Correctional Institution Services, average 3,000 calories a day, jail Capt. Hunter Petray told The Morning News of northwest Arkansas for a story Saturday.

A typical Western diet consists of 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day.

Laswell's suit was filed without a lawyer in U.S. District Court in Fayetteville.
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Carmen's response:

Dear big, fat, lazy, selfish, whining, egotistical killer:

First of all, you have been accused or MURDER. I wonder how your victim feels right now? I wonder how his family feels every FREAKING day of their lives? Well, let me try to paint a picture for you.

While I go to work every day, making money and paying taxes, you are benefiting from MY hard-earned dollars so you can sit on your fat butt all day and figure out how the "man" is keeping you down. Your sorry, fat sausage fingers shove three square meals a day into your swollen, obese cake hole, you watch cable television, play ping-pong and have the ability to exercise. You have a library at your disposal, and you can probably earn a college degree while you are incarcerated.

What is your victim doing for the next 30 years? What about his family and friends? What are they doing? I know what they are doing. They are hoping your fat ass slims down to a really pretty little man. And maybe as you slim down and start feeling better, you'll exercise and get some muscles. Then, a big ole daddy inmate is going to notice you and start looking in your direction. "Boy, you lookin' good," is what that dead man's family hopes you hear one day soon. I don't think you'll be worried about calories then.